[ should she explain it? the truth behind the story spun for her sake? she struggles with that thought, tries to wrestle it down as it surges back up again and again. she gave up nothing, all she did was play a part in a much larger plan. ]
Do you know how it is Oceanids reproduce, Zhongli? [ she does not wait for his answer, quickly continuing. ] They preform something known as a Helixsplit, normally with the permission of an elder or the Hydro Archon herself. The day that Egeria fell and Focalors inherited the position of the Hydro Archon she concocted a plan. She could not save Fontaine and her people from the sin Egeria first committed, no matter what the judgement of the heavens would be absolute.
She decided instead to fool the heavens and create a weapon capable of not only killing the Hydro Archon but the very throne she sat.
[ more rustling and she pulls her knees up to her chest tightly. ]
She was once one of Egeria's Oceanid familiars, you see, and thus she split herself in two. She split her divinity from the human form Egeria had gifted her. You know what happened from there, don't you? The girl danced upon a stage for five hundred years, gathering up the people's faith until the very day the prophecy came to pass. Only then would the Hydro Archon be executed by a blade of pure Indemnitium killing both her and destroying the throne, all to return what was wrongly taken and hope the Hydro Dragon could forgive the people of Fontaine for their sin.
[ it feels as though she is rambling, but her thoughts have felt like a storm ever since she woke last night. memories and things she knew only vaguely now crystal clear. ]
My role may have been integral but I could not give up what I did not have in the first place. We were one in the same, Focalors and I, but I only played the part. I won't play that part again, I can't.
[Zhongli can tell this is not something she needs his input on. But no, he did not know how oceanids reproduce... He's quiet as he takes it all in. So Furina is the result of such a split... making them almost like sisters. Halves of a whole. That explains a great deal, actually.]
I see.
It was quite the gamble, but in the end, your other self was right to believe in the dragon's noble heart.
[It is comforting to know that he hasn't misjudged Neuvillette at all, though Zhongli knows there is unfinished business between them.]
Though we have the occasional soul from Fontaine, no one will ask you to play that part again. That was a different world, and a different life.
The power you have now is merely an echo. It is not an obligation. What it means, and what you can do with it—those are things that you must take the time to discover for yourself.
Before my divinity returned to me, I spent eighteen hundred years aware that I wore Morax's face and had some of his mannerisms, but I could never truly be that person again. I would still have reached this same conclusion even if I had arrived directly from Teyvat rather than reincarnating with some of his memories.
I, too, gave up the burden of leadership. I am not eager to reclaim it. And that is why, despite being a god once again and feeling the weight of the power I wield, I refuse to rule in any way.
To me, the responsibilities of being a god begin and end with guiding humanity. That doesn't always mean taking a throne, especially in these times. Sometimes, it means doing what you can for the people who are right in front of you, the same as any other day.
[ it feels exhausting to talk so much, to put so much of herself out like this. she wants to bury herself underneath the blankets again, to curl so tightly against neuvillette that she may very well settle into his bones. it feels safe there, and everything makes sense.
but she cannot run from reality as much as she might want too and the reality is she is not simply 'furina' any longer, she is more than that... ]
I'm afraid I won't be able to discover what it means, or what I should do with it. It feels as though wound have been reopened before they even had a chance to heal. [ she takes a breath in, resting her forehead against her knees, and exhales. ] I'm afraid of having to live up to the expectations of others again. The people here might not worship gods like the people of Tevyat do, but they still have expectations.
I'm afraid if people find out they will stop seeing me as just 'Furina'.
I know... This world has been unkind to you in that way.
[He wishes he could wrap her in his coat again. She has the same voice as the scared little girl he found crying alone in the ruins of a once-glorious water city.]
Knowledge of my divinity has been around for some time now, and I can assure you that it has not changed how people treat me. There are a small number of people who have had... disagreements with gods on their world, but if you approach them earnestly, you will find them willing to cooperate. If it comes up in conversation, you have no need to hide it... but there is no need to advertise it either.
[He remembers what Jun said about letting people draw their own conclusions.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ should she explain it? the truth behind the story spun for her sake? she struggles with that thought, tries to wrestle it down as it surges back up again and again. she gave up nothing, all she did was play a part in a much larger plan. ]
Do you know how it is Oceanids reproduce, Zhongli? [ she does not wait for his answer, quickly continuing. ] They preform something known as a Helixsplit, normally with the permission of an elder or the Hydro Archon herself. The day that Egeria fell and Focalors inherited the position of the Hydro Archon she concocted a plan. She could not save Fontaine and her people from the sin Egeria first committed, no matter what the judgement of the heavens would be absolute.
She decided instead to fool the heavens and create a weapon capable of not only killing the Hydro Archon but the very throne she sat.
[ more rustling and she pulls her knees up to her chest tightly. ]
She was once one of Egeria's Oceanid familiars, you see, and thus she split herself in two. She split her divinity from the human form Egeria had gifted her. You know what happened from there, don't you? The girl danced upon a stage for five hundred years, gathering up the people's faith until the very day the prophecy came to pass. Only then would the Hydro Archon be executed by a blade of pure Indemnitium killing both her and destroying the throne, all to return what was wrongly taken and hope the Hydro Dragon could forgive the people of Fontaine for their sin.
[ it feels as though she is rambling, but her thoughts have felt like a storm ever since she woke last night. memories and things she knew only vaguely now crystal clear. ]
My role may have been integral but I could not give up what I did not have in the first place. We were one in the same, Focalors and I, but I only played the part. I won't play that part again, I can't.
1/2
I see.
It was quite the gamble, but in the end, your other self was right to believe in the dragon's noble heart.
[It is comforting to know that he hasn't misjudged Neuvillette at all, though Zhongli knows there is unfinished business between them.]
Though we have the occasional soul from Fontaine, no one will ask you to play that part again. That was a different world, and a different life.
The power you have now is merely an echo. It is not an obligation. What it means, and what you can do with it—those are things that you must take the time to discover for yourself.
no subject
Before my divinity returned to me, I spent eighteen hundred years aware that I wore Morax's face and had some of his mannerisms, but I could never truly be that person again. I would still have reached this same conclusion even if I had arrived directly from Teyvat rather than reincarnating with some of his memories.
I, too, gave up the burden of leadership. I am not eager to reclaim it. And that is why, despite being a god once again and feeling the weight of the power I wield, I refuse to rule in any way.
To me, the responsibilities of being a god begin and end with guiding humanity. That doesn't always mean taking a throne, especially in these times. Sometimes, it means doing what you can for the people who are right in front of you, the same as any other day.
no subject
but she cannot run from reality as much as she might want too and the reality is she is not simply 'furina' any longer, she is more than that... ]
I'm afraid I won't be able to discover what it means, or what I should do with it. It feels as though wound have been reopened before they even had a chance to heal. [ she takes a breath in, resting her forehead against her knees, and exhales. ] I'm afraid of having to live up to the expectations of others again. The people here might not worship gods like the people of Tevyat do, but they still have expectations.
I'm afraid if people find out they will stop seeing me as just 'Furina'.
no subject
[He wishes he could wrap her in his coat again. She has the same voice as the scared little girl he found crying alone in the ruins of a once-glorious water city.]
Knowledge of my divinity has been around for some time now, and I can assure you that it has not changed how people treat me. There are a small number of people who have had... disagreements with gods on their world, but if you approach them earnestly, you will find them willing to cooperate. If it comes up in conversation, you have no need to hide it... but there is no need to advertise it either.
[He remembers what Jun said about letting people draw their own conclusions.]
You are Furina. That has not changed.